"After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jurusalem, by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Hebrew called Beth-za'tha, which has five porticoes. In these lay a multitude of invalids, blind, lame, paralyzed. One man was there, who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew that he had been lying there a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be healed?' The sick man answered him, 'Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is troubled, and while I am going another steps down before me.' Jesus said to him, 'Rise, take up your pallet, and walk.' And at once the man was healed, and he took up his pallet and walked."
Again, we cannot analyze the signs of Christ. They are there only to point us to God, and reveal things about Him.
Now the "healing pool" was an unreliable method of healing at best. The place where this pool was is a place that can be visited even to this day. Documents from history about this pool indicate that the water was a reddish color. That would indicate there was a chemical spring feeding this water, and when the spring would bubble up it would result in the water turning red and would also create a swirling motion. This was probably fed by an underground spring, or a mineral spring, causing people to believe that something supernatural was going on.
It makes sense that this is very likely what was going on here, thus, this guy being there a total of 38 flippin years.
When Kris preached on this last sunday he wanted to look at what would have been going on at both the very best and the very worst.
At the very best-
-this place represents a faint hope of healing
-There may have been times where someone had faith that God could meet
them and God met them at this place of healing.
At the very worst-
-this place was an idol dream designed to corral the sick and the infirmed
into one part of Jerusalem so the city wouldnt have to deal with them.
- they were selling a dream of healing so all the sick would get off the streets
and go to the pool hoping that a miracle would happen that wasnt going to
happen.
- this was a dark place of suffering and isolation
another thing to notice is how Jesus seeks out this guy. this is different from the first two miracles where Jesus was sought after. He seems to be looking for this man. The initiative in this story is entirely taken by Jesus. None is made by the sick man.
Jesus asks him, "do you want to get well." Kris talked about how if we are honest we would most likely assume this is a spretty dumb question Jesus is asking. We would assume that of course this man wants to be healed.
But we should ask ourselves why Jesus would ask this. This question is LOADED with meaning.
This man has been here for 38 years!! He has become accustomed to this environment.
Jesus is asking, "Do you want things to change, or have you grown so used to the statuesquo that you dont want things to change?"
"Are you content to leave this environment that you have become so accustomed to, so comfortable with? Are youready to exchange this for the unknown?"
Kris talked about how this third sign teaches us some things about Jesus Christ.
- that Jesus knows where to find us when we are in a really dark place
-that Jesus asks us questions rather than presuming that he knows what
we want.
-that Jesus knows what we need, but he wants to know if we know what we
really want.
- that we can choose whether to work with Him or work against Him.
And finally, that JESUS IS WILLING TO HELP ANYONE.
if you are struggling and stuck and confused at this little thing we call life,and willing to admit it, this is great news.
But if your a self-rightous Christian then this is terrible news for you because it may mean Jesus doesnt hate the people you hate. And doesnt want to stone the people you may want to stone.
ARE WE WILLING TO BE OPEN AND HONEST ABOUT WHO WE REALLY ARE?
cause if were not willing to start there, we will continue to participate in a false sense of
community that will hinder our growth as believers and keep us focussed on the signs rather than on God.
BUT IF WE ARE, ARE WE ABLE AND WILLING TO EXCHANGE THE FAMILIAR MISERY THAT WE EXPERIENCE, THAT BRINGS COMFORT TO US IN PERVERSE WAYS, FOR SOMETHING OTHER?
~In His Grip~
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
John 4:46-54 (Second Miracle)
"So he came again to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water to wine. And at Caper'na-um there was an official whose son was ill. When he heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went and begged him to come down and heal his son, for he was at the point of death. Jesus therefore said to him, 'unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.' The official said to him, 'Sir, come down before my child dies.' Jesus said to him, 'Go, your son will live.' The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and went his way. As he was going down, his servants met him and told him that his son was living. So he asked them the hour when e began to mend, and they said to him, 'Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.' The father knew that was the hour when Jesus had said to him, 'your son will live.'; and he himself believed, and all his household. This was now the second sign that Jesus did when he had come from Judea to Galilee."
Picture a big...beautiful...extravagant sign on the highway pointing to the destination of the road you are on. Now this sign is so beautiful that people from all over the place come to see it.
The point of the sign is to point you to where it is you are supposed to go. It is nothing but tool to help you focus on the goal.
Yet becuase of its beauty it soon becomes the destination itself rather then the tool it was created to be. Kris made this comparison last sunday to how Jesus was probably feeling about the miracles he was doing at the time he said his first words to the official.
Rather than his signs and miracles acting as a tool to lead people to God they became the reason people came out to see him. This is important because the official seperates himself from the crowd by persisting with Jesus about healing his son. He proves to be in need of the power of God rather then soley interested in the miracle itself.
Jesus offers no visible miracle for the official. Rather, He simply speaks words to him, telling him his boy with live, and then asks the official to return to his home. This is freaking incredible. He doesnt even offer to go with him. The man has to walk in faith having no tangible evidence to go with the words of Jesus. He spends an entire day having to walk in faith and belief, givin no proof until the next day when his slaves inform him of his sons recovery, happening the day before exactly when Jesus spoke.
How often are we willing to act on words alone. to walk in faith in something we cannot see or even understand. Without any reassurace what so ever
Are we interested in who God is.... or just what he can do for us?
Are our eyes on God, or are we distracted by the sign?
Picture a big...beautiful...extravagant sign on the highway pointing to the destination of the road you are on. Now this sign is so beautiful that people from all over the place come to see it.
The point of the sign is to point you to where it is you are supposed to go. It is nothing but tool to help you focus on the goal.
Yet becuase of its beauty it soon becomes the destination itself rather then the tool it was created to be. Kris made this comparison last sunday to how Jesus was probably feeling about the miracles he was doing at the time he said his first words to the official.
Rather than his signs and miracles acting as a tool to lead people to God they became the reason people came out to see him. This is important because the official seperates himself from the crowd by persisting with Jesus about healing his son. He proves to be in need of the power of God rather then soley interested in the miracle itself.
Jesus offers no visible miracle for the official. Rather, He simply speaks words to him, telling him his boy with live, and then asks the official to return to his home. This is freaking incredible. He doesnt even offer to go with him. The man has to walk in faith having no tangible evidence to go with the words of Jesus. He spends an entire day having to walk in faith and belief, givin no proof until the next day when his slaves inform him of his sons recovery, happening the day before exactly when Jesus spoke.
How often are we willing to act on words alone. to walk in faith in something we cannot see or even understand. Without any reassurace what so ever
Are we interested in who God is.... or just what he can do for us?
Are our eyes on God, or are we distracted by the sign?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
John 2:1-11 (the First Miracle of Christ)
"On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine gave out, the Mother of Jesus said to him, 'they have no wine'. And Jesus said to her, 'O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come.' His mother said to the servants, 'do whatever he tells you.' Now six stone jars were standing there, for the jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, 'fill the jars with water.' And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, 'now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast.' So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bidegroom and said to him, 'every man serves the good win first; and when the men have drunk freely, then the poor wine;but you have kept the good wine until now.' This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples put their faith in him."
So there is a wedding in a neighboring city of Jesus'. And he and his mother both attend it. This is significant because in the jewish culture weddings were a big deal. a period of days would be set aside to have a feast celebrating he union of the couple. Everyone from the city and even some from neighboring citys would attend.
aka.........big deal.
Alot of stock was put into these things. They were taken seriously. Another thing to know is that the weddings were taken care of financially by the groom, not the bride. And to run out of wine is an automatic tell that this grooms family is a poor family. It would have been an unacceptable disgrace to run out of wine at an event like this. It was taken so seriously that not only would he have been disgraced, but could have even been sued for a lack of hospitality so to speak. BIG DEAL.
So Mary, (Jesus' mother) some how comes to realize the wine is running out and tells Jesus. Jesus response to Mary is one of respectful frustration I would tend to believe. For he says His time has not yet come. Jesus refers to "his time" numeous times, an is referring to the time of glorification on the cross.
But what Mary does next is what opens the door for Jesus to "manifest his glory" for the first time. And that is her act of faith in telling the servants to do whatever he tells them to do.
Now this miacle is the first miracle Jesus does. This is his coming out party so to speak. And it is important to see that this miracle is not done on the big stage (Jerusalem) or in some huge city with multitudes of people to see it. But in small town in which the only people who would have even known a miracle happened would have been Jesus' mother, his desciples, and the lowly servants. And is done as an act of kindness to a couple of lowly stature, who would have no doubtably recieved complete disgrace otherwise.
Some coming out party huh. Almost everyone there doesnt even know a miracle even occured. Even the steward of the wedding didnt even know. He didnt know where the wine came from. And what he says to the groom is certainly not a compliment. He basically calls him a fool for saving the best wine for last. Shoot, the couple themselves dont even realize what happened.
Christ recieves no credit from people for his first miracle! Christs FIRST mircale is an act of service and kindness to someone of no stature. The only people who recogognize that happened are the lowest of the low and the people Jesus called to follow his.
Would I have been one of those who even noticed a miracle occured?
Do I even know or believe miracles occur today?
How many times has Jesus saved my ass, and when have I given Him credit for it?
How often do i do something of true importance without anyone knowing it?
claiming to be a follower of Christ.......BIG DEAL.
alot of people are kidding themselves.
So there is a wedding in a neighboring city of Jesus'. And he and his mother both attend it. This is significant because in the jewish culture weddings were a big deal. a period of days would be set aside to have a feast celebrating he union of the couple. Everyone from the city and even some from neighboring citys would attend.
aka.........big deal.
Alot of stock was put into these things. They were taken seriously. Another thing to know is that the weddings were taken care of financially by the groom, not the bride. And to run out of wine is an automatic tell that this grooms family is a poor family. It would have been an unacceptable disgrace to run out of wine at an event like this. It was taken so seriously that not only would he have been disgraced, but could have even been sued for a lack of hospitality so to speak. BIG DEAL.
So Mary, (Jesus' mother) some how comes to realize the wine is running out and tells Jesus. Jesus response to Mary is one of respectful frustration I would tend to believe. For he says His time has not yet come. Jesus refers to "his time" numeous times, an is referring to the time of glorification on the cross.
But what Mary does next is what opens the door for Jesus to "manifest his glory" for the first time. And that is her act of faith in telling the servants to do whatever he tells them to do.
Now this miacle is the first miracle Jesus does. This is his coming out party so to speak. And it is important to see that this miracle is not done on the big stage (Jerusalem) or in some huge city with multitudes of people to see it. But in small town in which the only people who would have even known a miracle happened would have been Jesus' mother, his desciples, and the lowly servants. And is done as an act of kindness to a couple of lowly stature, who would have no doubtably recieved complete disgrace otherwise.
Some coming out party huh. Almost everyone there doesnt even know a miracle even occured. Even the steward of the wedding didnt even know. He didnt know where the wine came from. And what he says to the groom is certainly not a compliment. He basically calls him a fool for saving the best wine for last. Shoot, the couple themselves dont even realize what happened.
Christ recieves no credit from people for his first miracle! Christs FIRST mircale is an act of service and kindness to someone of no stature. The only people who recogognize that happened are the lowest of the low and the people Jesus called to follow his.
Would I have been one of those who even noticed a miracle occured?
Do I even know or believe miracles occur today?
How many times has Jesus saved my ass, and when have I given Him credit for it?
How often do i do something of true importance without anyone knowing it?
claiming to be a follower of Christ.......BIG DEAL.
alot of people are kidding themselves.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
aaaand.....im back
The church of today?
" we decided to stop complaining about the church we saw, and we set our hearts on becoming th church we dreamed of "
" I felt so thirsty for God, so embarrassed by christianity, and so ready for something more"
" we are called not to be successful but to be faithful "
Poor in spirit
" one of the lepers explained to me that oftentimes lepers dont even know the words thank you because they have never needed to say them "
" I learned from the lepers that leprosy is a disease of numbness. The contagion numbs the skin, and the nerves can no longer feel as the body wastes away.....to treat it, we would dig out or dissect the scarred tissue until the person could feel again "
" As I left Calcutta, it occured to me that i was returning to a land of lepers, a land of people who had forgotten how to feel, to laugh, to cry, a land haunted by numbness. Could we learn to feel again? "
Proud to be a white, culturized, desensitized, cheap, self centered american christian ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??
" During one fo the short term mission trips I had gone on, a group of children were preparing a skit from the gospel story they had read. They came up to me and said, 'Shane, we need you to play Jesus, because you are white and from america'. Ouch! God forgive us, buddy Jesus has become a white american resembling Mr. Rogers "
" I asked participants who claimed to be 'strong followers of Jesus' whether Jesus spent time with the poor. Nearly 80 percent said yes. Later in the survey, I sneaked in another question. I asked the same group of strong followers whether they spent time with the poor, and less then 2 percent said they did. I learned a powerful lesson: We can admire and wirship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich christians do not care about the poor but that rich christians do not know the poor "
" I truly believe that when the poor meet the rich, riches will have no meaning. and when the rich meet the poor, we will see poverty come to an end. "
" we knew that the world cannot afford the american dream and that the good news is that there is another dream. We looked to the early church and to the scriptures and to the poor to find it. "
thats all for now. be back later.
May we see, understand, and experience truth in ways discernible by the touch, and may we be a people whose hearts break over the same things Gods heart breaks over. Amen.
" we decided to stop complaining about the church we saw, and we set our hearts on becoming th church we dreamed of "
" I felt so thirsty for God, so embarrassed by christianity, and so ready for something more"
" we are called not to be successful but to be faithful "
Poor in spirit
" one of the lepers explained to me that oftentimes lepers dont even know the words thank you because they have never needed to say them "
" I learned from the lepers that leprosy is a disease of numbness. The contagion numbs the skin, and the nerves can no longer feel as the body wastes away.....to treat it, we would dig out or dissect the scarred tissue until the person could feel again "
" As I left Calcutta, it occured to me that i was returning to a land of lepers, a land of people who had forgotten how to feel, to laugh, to cry, a land haunted by numbness. Could we learn to feel again? "
Proud to be a white, culturized, desensitized, cheap, self centered american christian ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??
" During one fo the short term mission trips I had gone on, a group of children were preparing a skit from the gospel story they had read. They came up to me and said, 'Shane, we need you to play Jesus, because you are white and from america'. Ouch! God forgive us, buddy Jesus has become a white american resembling Mr. Rogers "
" I asked participants who claimed to be 'strong followers of Jesus' whether Jesus spent time with the poor. Nearly 80 percent said yes. Later in the survey, I sneaked in another question. I asked the same group of strong followers whether they spent time with the poor, and less then 2 percent said they did. I learned a powerful lesson: We can admire and wirship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich christians do not care about the poor but that rich christians do not know the poor "
" I truly believe that when the poor meet the rich, riches will have no meaning. and when the rich meet the poor, we will see poverty come to an end. "
" we knew that the world cannot afford the american dream and that the good news is that there is another dream. We looked to the early church and to the scriptures and to the poor to find it. "
thats all for now. be back later.
May we see, understand, and experience truth in ways discernible by the touch, and may we be a people whose hearts break over the same things Gods heart breaks over. Amen.
Friday, December 16, 2005
love
I blogged about this passage a long time ago. i was recently reminded of it, actually in Africa. Love is one of the most precious things in this world.
" what great gravity is this that drew my soul toward yours? What great force, that though i went falsely, went kicking, went disguising myself to earn your love, also disguised, to earn your keeping, your resting, your staying, your will fleshed into mine, rasped by a slowly revealed truth, the barter of my soul, the soul that i fear, the soul that i loathe, the soul that: if you will love, i will love. i will redeem you, if you will redeem me? Is this our purpose, you and i together to pacify each other, to lead each other toward the lie that we are good, that we are noble, that we need not redemption, save the one that you and I invented of our own clay? I am not scared of you, my love, I am scared of me. I went looking, I wrote out a list, I drew an image, I bled a poem of you. You were pretty, and my friends believed i was worthy of you. You were clever, but i was smarter, perhaps the only one smarter, the only one able to lead you. You see love, i did not love you, i loved me. And you were only a tool that i used to fix myself, to fool myself, to redeem myself. And though i have taught you to lay your lily hand in mine, I walk alone, for i cannot talk to you, lest you talk it back to me, lest i believe that i am not worthy, not deserving, not redeemed. I want desperatly for you to be my friend. But you are not my friend; you have slid up warmly to the man i wanted to be, the man i pretended to be, and i was your jesus and, you were mine. Should i show you who i am, we may crumble. I am not scared of you, my love, i am scared of me. I want to be known and loved anyway. Can you do this? I trust by your easy breathing that you are human like me, that you are fallen like me, that you are lonley, like me. My love, do i know you? What is this great gravity that pulls us so painfully toward each other? Why do we not connect? will we be forever in fleshing this out? And how will we with words, narrow words, come into the knowing of each other? Is this Gods way of meriting grace, of teaching of the labyrinth of His love for us, teaching us, in degrees, that which He is sacrificing to join ourselves to Him? Or better yet, has He formed our being fractional so that we might conclude one great hope, plodding and sighing and breathing into one another in such a great push that we might break through into the known of being loved, only to cave into a greater perdition and fall down at His throne still begging for our acceptance? Begging for our completion? We were fools to believe that we would redeem each other. Were i some sleeping Adam, to wake and find you resting at my rib, to share these things that God has done, to walk you through the garden, to council your timid steps, your bewildered eye, your heart so slow to love, so careful to love, so sheepish that i stepped up my aim and became a man. Is this what God intended? That though He made you from my rib, it is you who is making me, humbling me, destroying me, and in so doing revealing Him. Will we be in ashes before we are one? What great gravity is this that drew my heart towards yours? What great force collapsed my orbit, my lonesome state? What is this that wants in me the want in you? Dont we go at each other with yielded eyes, with cumbered hands and feet, with clunky tongues? This deed is unattainable! We cannot know each other! I am quitting this thing, but not what you think. I am not going away. I will give you this my love, and i will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what i can discover and though you remain a mystery, save Gods own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And i will do this to my death, and to the death it may bring me. I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow i will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before i am ended at this alter of dying and dying again. God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us. " - Donald Miller / BLUE LIKE JAZZ
" what great gravity is this that drew my soul toward yours? What great force, that though i went falsely, went kicking, went disguising myself to earn your love, also disguised, to earn your keeping, your resting, your staying, your will fleshed into mine, rasped by a slowly revealed truth, the barter of my soul, the soul that i fear, the soul that i loathe, the soul that: if you will love, i will love. i will redeem you, if you will redeem me? Is this our purpose, you and i together to pacify each other, to lead each other toward the lie that we are good, that we are noble, that we need not redemption, save the one that you and I invented of our own clay? I am not scared of you, my love, I am scared of me. I went looking, I wrote out a list, I drew an image, I bled a poem of you. You were pretty, and my friends believed i was worthy of you. You were clever, but i was smarter, perhaps the only one smarter, the only one able to lead you. You see love, i did not love you, i loved me. And you were only a tool that i used to fix myself, to fool myself, to redeem myself. And though i have taught you to lay your lily hand in mine, I walk alone, for i cannot talk to you, lest you talk it back to me, lest i believe that i am not worthy, not deserving, not redeemed. I want desperatly for you to be my friend. But you are not my friend; you have slid up warmly to the man i wanted to be, the man i pretended to be, and i was your jesus and, you were mine. Should i show you who i am, we may crumble. I am not scared of you, my love, i am scared of me. I want to be known and loved anyway. Can you do this? I trust by your easy breathing that you are human like me, that you are fallen like me, that you are lonley, like me. My love, do i know you? What is this great gravity that pulls us so painfully toward each other? Why do we not connect? will we be forever in fleshing this out? And how will we with words, narrow words, come into the knowing of each other? Is this Gods way of meriting grace, of teaching of the labyrinth of His love for us, teaching us, in degrees, that which He is sacrificing to join ourselves to Him? Or better yet, has He formed our being fractional so that we might conclude one great hope, plodding and sighing and breathing into one another in such a great push that we might break through into the known of being loved, only to cave into a greater perdition and fall down at His throne still begging for our acceptance? Begging for our completion? We were fools to believe that we would redeem each other. Were i some sleeping Adam, to wake and find you resting at my rib, to share these things that God has done, to walk you through the garden, to council your timid steps, your bewildered eye, your heart so slow to love, so careful to love, so sheepish that i stepped up my aim and became a man. Is this what God intended? That though He made you from my rib, it is you who is making me, humbling me, destroying me, and in so doing revealing Him. Will we be in ashes before we are one? What great gravity is this that drew my heart towards yours? What great force collapsed my orbit, my lonesome state? What is this that wants in me the want in you? Dont we go at each other with yielded eyes, with cumbered hands and feet, with clunky tongues? This deed is unattainable! We cannot know each other! I am quitting this thing, but not what you think. I am not going away. I will give you this my love, and i will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what i can discover and though you remain a mystery, save Gods own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And i will do this to my death, and to the death it may bring me. I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow i will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before i am ended at this alter of dying and dying again. God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us. " - Donald Miller / BLUE LIKE JAZZ
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
pics
this little girl was so awesome!!
well finally found just a few pics from this summer. sure to be more later. love the black eye!!
Sunday, July 31, 2005
blue like jazz
" what great gravity is this that drew my soul toward yours? What great force, that though i went falsely, went kicking, went disguising myself to earn your love, also disguised, to earn your keeping, your resting, your staying, your will fleshed into mine, rasped by a slowly revealed truth, the barter of my soul, the soul that i fear, the soul that i loathe, the soul that: if you will love, i will love. i will redeem you, if you will redeem me? Is this our purpose, you and i together to pacify each other, to lead each other toward the lie that we are good, that we are noble, that we need not redemption, save the one that you and I invented of our own clay? I am not scared of you, my love, I am scared of me. I went looking, I wrote out a list, I drew an image, I bled a poem of you. You were pretty, and my friends believed i was worthy of you. You were clever, but i was smarter, perhaps the only one smarter, the only one able to lead you. You see love, i did not love you, i loved me. And you were only a tool that i used to fix myself, to fool myself, to redeem myself. And though i have taught you to lay your lily hand in mine, I walk alone, for i cannot talk to you, lest you talk it back to me, lest i believe that i am not worthy, not deserving, not redeemed. I want desperatly for you to be my friend. But you are not my friend; you have slid up warmly to the man i wanted to be, the man i pretended to be, and i was your jesus and, you were mine. Should i show you who i am, we may crumble. I am not scared of you, my love, i am scared of me. I want to be known and loved anyway. Can you do this? I trust by your easy breathing that you are human like me, that you are fallen like me, that you are lonley, like me. My love, do i know you? What is this great gravity that pulls us so painfully toward each other? Why do we not connect? will we be forever in fleshing this out? And how will we with words, narrow words, come into the knowing of each other? Is this Gods way of meriting grace, of teaching of the labyrinth of His love for us, teaching us, in degrees, that which He is sacrificing to join ourselves to Him? Or better yet, has He formed our being fractional so that we might conclude one great hope, plodding and sighing and breathing into one another in such a great push that we might break through into the known of being loved, only to cave into a greater perdition and fall down at His throne still begging for our acceptance? Begging for our completion? We were fools to believe that we would redeem each other. Were i some sleeping Adam, to wake and find you resting at my rib, to share these things that God has done, to walk you through the garden, to council your timid steps, your bewildered eye, your heart so slow to love, so careful to love, so sheepish that i stepped up my aim and became a man. Is this what God intended? That though He made you from my rib, it is you who is making me, humbling me, destroying me, and in so doing revealing Him. Will we be in ashes before we are one? What great gravity is this that drew my heart towards yours? What great force collapsed my orbit, my lonesome state? What is this that wants in me the want in you? Dont we go at each other with yielded eyes, with cumbered hands and feet, with clunky tongues? This deed is unattainable! We cannot know each other! I am quitting this thing, but not what you think. I am not going away. I will give you this my love, and i will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what i can discover and though you remain a mystery, save Gods own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And i will do this to my death, and to the death it may bring me. I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow i will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before i am ended at this alter of dying and dying again. God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us. " - Donald Miller / BLUE LIKE JAZZ
this is a scene in the play polaroids that Don talks about in this book "BLUE LIKE JAZZ". In this scene, the main character has been in a HUGE fight with his wife. He later walks in the bedroom where she is sleeping, kneels down beside her and whispers these words.
I couldnt help but put it up here. that is so real to me... i miss her still, alot. i love her still, alot. and i read this and it makes me think of her. it makes me think of the connection i feel to her that shows no signs of going away. but i think that i just might be starting to maybe sort of get a little glimpse of the picture.... GOD LOVES ME. and i think that just about sums it all up. GOD IS LOVE> and GOD LOVES ME. I met Bethany, i know that i love her. God allowed me to fall in love with her. and by allowing me to know this, He is showing me that there is a love that exeeds all comprehension of love. the love i feel for Bethany feels so great but it is nothing compared to the love that Jesus Christ has for me, her, and everyone else in this world, no matter who they are or where they come from. and it was paid for by his own blood. that is so hard to understand. its impossible to understand Gods love. but what im starting to realize is i have to stop trying to understand it, stop thinking i can truly love or truly be loved, until i learn to truly accept His love. By simply accepting Gods GRACIOUS love for me, i will then TRULY fall in love with Him, and only then will i have the fuel i need to obey Him. In exchange for my humility and willingness to accept Gods charity, i am given so much more than i can imagine. im given a kingdom. and "a beggars kingdom is better than a proud mans delusion." (Don Miller)
like i said before, i am typing this down as i digest it (slowly) in my mind and heart. i know i dont have anything figured out yet and will probably never totally grasp it. i also know that Bethany is important to me and the thought of growing in Him with her by my side still gives me chills and makes me smile. but more important than all of that, i am trying to accept the fact that God loves me, that Jesus died for me, and will never leave me. iv heard those things my entire life and only now are they starting to truly hit me. its AMAZING.
well this blog is officially WAY TO LONG, so im gonna wrap it up. im off to TYI tomorrow. God wants to work there and i know Hes going to.
truly ~IN HIS GRIP~
this is a scene in the play polaroids that Don talks about in this book "BLUE LIKE JAZZ". In this scene, the main character has been in a HUGE fight with his wife. He later walks in the bedroom where she is sleeping, kneels down beside her and whispers these words.
I couldnt help but put it up here. that is so real to me... i miss her still, alot. i love her still, alot. and i read this and it makes me think of her. it makes me think of the connection i feel to her that shows no signs of going away. but i think that i just might be starting to maybe sort of get a little glimpse of the picture.... GOD LOVES ME. and i think that just about sums it all up. GOD IS LOVE> and GOD LOVES ME. I met Bethany, i know that i love her. God allowed me to fall in love with her. and by allowing me to know this, He is showing me that there is a love that exeeds all comprehension of love. the love i feel for Bethany feels so great but it is nothing compared to the love that Jesus Christ has for me, her, and everyone else in this world, no matter who they are or where they come from. and it was paid for by his own blood. that is so hard to understand. its impossible to understand Gods love. but what im starting to realize is i have to stop trying to understand it, stop thinking i can truly love or truly be loved, until i learn to truly accept His love. By simply accepting Gods GRACIOUS love for me, i will then TRULY fall in love with Him, and only then will i have the fuel i need to obey Him. In exchange for my humility and willingness to accept Gods charity, i am given so much more than i can imagine. im given a kingdom. and "a beggars kingdom is better than a proud mans delusion." (Don Miller)
like i said before, i am typing this down as i digest it (slowly) in my mind and heart. i know i dont have anything figured out yet and will probably never totally grasp it. i also know that Bethany is important to me and the thought of growing in Him with her by my side still gives me chills and makes me smile. but more important than all of that, i am trying to accept the fact that God loves me, that Jesus died for me, and will never leave me. iv heard those things my entire life and only now are they starting to truly hit me. its AMAZING.
well this blog is officially WAY TO LONG, so im gonna wrap it up. im off to TYI tomorrow. God wants to work there and i know Hes going to.
truly ~IN HIS GRIP~
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